The Hutchings

Little sneak peek!

2012-01-10T20:13:00.000-08:00

So it seems like that last month flew by and I haven't had time to sit down and post about our amazing Christmas. We were able to spend Christmas with Jon's whole family minus Ben who is serving his mission in England.

We spent Christmas Eve at Temple Square with a million other people. It was freezing, but totally worth it. What an amazing place at Christmas time. The temple was gorgeous surrounded by all the lights!

I LOVE THE TEMPLE!!!!!

Bundled up and ready for the cold.

My cute family!!! JT was on Daddy's shoulders most of the time. There were too many people to let him run free.Jon, JT, & Kyle. After Temple square the older cousins taught the
younger ones about the symbols of Christmas.Modeling his cute Jammies. My baby is growing up! Jon's family has a tradition of hiding and watching Santa come early Christmas morning... Like 5:00!!!
It was way too early, but the excitement on JT's face was totally worth it!!!

JT was of course spoiled again. I guess that is what comes from being the only child. A few of his favorite presents.

BYU football helmet!
Demolition derby cars. This kid is obsessed since we took him
to the Demolition Derby at the fair last year!
You can't tell by his face how much he loves them can you?I totally surprised Jon with a PS3! He had no idea.
I really got it for the blueray player! ;)Momma got spoiled this year and I am totally enjoying learning
more about my amazing present! Woot for a nice camera!

Epic Failure!!!

2011-12-02T08:45:00.000-08:00

If you haven't already noticed I totally fell off the THANKFUL wagon! Not on purpose... it just got a little bit busy with Thanksgiving and family and Black Friday and whatever else you can think of. It wasn't because I am not thankful! ;)

I am truly blessed with everything that I have in my life.
The last 12 years haven't been easy, but I have grown and learned so much.
I wouldn't take my trials back for a second.
We have some exciting stuff coming up in our family.
I can't talk about it yet, but just pray that everything works for us.

Until next post... Happy Holidays!!!!!

Sleep

2011-11-21T22:21:00.000-08:00

Day #20

SLEEP!!!!!!!!!

There really is nothing to say about this other than

I love my SLEEP!!!!!

I used to be a night owl and I can stay up with the best of them,
but recently I have been getting tired as early as 10!!

Maybe it is getting older.
Maybe it is chasing a crazy 4 year old after working all day.
Who knows, but I have come to really appreciate a good night's sleep!

I also enjoy laying down with little man on the weekends
and taking marvelous naps!
Don't judge... you are probably just jealous! ;o)

Grandma Latham

2011-11-21T22:04:00.000-08:00

Day #19

I am so grateful for my Grandma Latham!
She loves puzzles, card games, and of course her Coke.
She can recite the alphabet backwards too!
Doesn't she look amazing for 98?!?!?

My dad was adopted at the age of 5 with his 3 sisters and brother.
Grandma Latham is his biological grandma.

We never treated her like that though.
I always knew my dad was adopted, but I never put 2 & 2 together until I got older.
We would visit her and grandpa every summer and have a blast.

I feel horrible saying this, but Jon and I saw her right before we got married and after that we haven't had the chance to visit her.
Luckily this weekend we were able to go with my parents to see her.
She is the same wonderful person that I remember.
She is fully of spunk and so sassy.
I feel so blessed that she was able to stay apart of our lives after my dad was adopted.

I know I know... I suck!

2011-11-21T21:53:00.000-08:00

Day #18

Hurricane Tiger Football!!!
State Champions!!!

Oh what a day! We left early Friday morning to head up North for the game.
It was supposed to be cold with the possibility of snow so we brought everything we could to keep us warm, including ponchos.
After dropping JT off with Jon's parents we headed up to see my Great Grandma Latham.
She will have a post of her own.
We met the rest of our group to eat and off to the game we went.
As soon as we got to Rice-Eccles Stadium it started to snow.
So we bundled up and put on our ponchos.

I stayed warm until the last minute when I got up to cheer after we won!!!!!

This championship was a long time coming.
After losing to Juan Diego 3 years in a row, Hurricane was able to play
Desert Hills... who just happens to be from down here.
It was an amazing game and our boys played their hearts out.
I am so glad we were able to experience this with all of our family and friends!

Little Things

2011-11-17T16:13:00.000-08:00

Day #17

It really is the little things in life that make us happy.
To me it isn't about money or material things.
My favorite things are the small gestures.

JT came into the room the other day to let me know he was a cowboy.
He gave me a big smile and said take a picture.
I love my little man so much.
He is the most handsome cowboy around!!!

One more little thing that made me smile.
Little man woke up bright and early this morning and helped himself to breakfast.
Well his kind of breakfast.
Once daddy caught him he told me to get in here and take a picture.
This is what I found.
Remember the "little things" make us smile!

His cars must have been hungry too!

Home Sweet Home

2011-11-17T16:02:00.001-08:00

Day #16

I LOVE our house!!!

I fell in love with it the minute I saw it.
Jon couldn't believe that I would even want to go look at it.
As soon as we walked through it he was hooked.
The rest is history!

There is so much more I want to do with it.
Of course it all takes time and $$$$.
Someday it will be exactly how I would like it.
And then I am sure it will be time to move!

Temples

2011-11-17T15:43:00.000-08:00

Day #15

Dang... it is hard to remember to post everyday!
I will get caught up NOW!

I am so so so very thankful for the temple.
I am blessed to have married Jon for time and all eternity.
I have also been blessed to be sealed to JT after his adoption.
That day was one of the most amazing days in my life.
If words could describe it I would.
The feelings I felt that day are something I will NEVER forget!

Whether our future children come to us through adoption or biologically.
The temple will always hold a special place in our hearts.

Can you believe little man ever used to be this little?

Prayer

2011-11-14T21:29:00.000-08:00

Day #14

I am so thankful for prayer.

I am grateful to know that when I need to talk to god
he is only a prayer away.
So many times in my life I have taken it for granted.
NOT anymore!!!!
We might not always have our prayers answered in the way that we want,
but the Lord KNOWS exactly what we need.
Hopefully one day we will understand what he is thinking.

I am also so thankful to be able to teach
the power of prayer to my little man.

Happy Anniversary!!!!!

2011-11-13T21:22:00.000-08:00

Day #13

We celebrated our 12 year anniversary!
I can't believe it has been that long.
Jon is the most amazing guy ever.
I love him more now than the day we were married.

He is the best father EVER!!!
He stays home with JT while I work.
It has been such a blessing to have him home.
It is exactly what JT has needed.

I can't imagine life without him.
I Love You Jon!!!!!

Time Out For Women "TOFW"

2011-11-12T15:56:00.001-08:00

Day #11 & Day #12

I spent the last 2 days at TOFW with my grandma, mom, and sisters!
It was the most amazing 2 days!
They have amazing presenters and musicians.
Their messages touched my heart and lifted my spirit.
It was exactly what I needed to hear.
Funny how the Lord knows what we are struggling with.

One of my favorite talks was from Sister Wendy Ulrich
"Your Personal Plan For Happiness"

1.Stop worrying about weakness - work on strengths.
2. Don't try to get motivated to exercise - motivation follows action.
3. Stop trying to find friends - develop the skills of friendship.
4. Don't try to feel happy - try to feel grateful.
5. Celebrate failure. Failure often means we are taking the necessary risks to grow, stretch, and serve.
6. Don't get help for your problems - instead help someone else.
7. Don't endure to the end - life is to be enjoyed, not just endure. Savor everyday delights.

**The key to happiness is having the spirit with you**

Growing Hair

2011-11-10T21:44:00.001-08:00

Day #10

Today I am so thankful that hair grows.
JT got a hold of my brother's beard trimmer.

The following pictures are the results of his mischief.
He looks so much older without hair.
I hope it grows back fast!

Hope & Faith

2011-11-09T19:45:00.000-08:00

Day #8 & Day #9

"Never think that God's delays are God's denials. Hold on; Hold fast; Hold out. Patience is genius."

The past couple of days have been totally life changing for me.
I have really tried to have the FAITH that everything
the Lord has planned for me will work out in HIS time.

And guess what...
when I have leaned on my FAITH the most...
my HOPE has been renewed.

I am so excited to see what the next few months have in store for our family.

Date Night

2011-11-07T21:28:00.001-08:00

Day #7

I am grateful to have a date night every so often with my man!
Thank you to my mom and dad for watching the monster.
It was just what we needed to forget about everything and relax.
Tonight consisted of...
Red Robin
Best Buy &
Shoe Carnival
We talked about Christmas presents for JT.
We discussed the future.
We enjoyed each other without little man yelling or whining.
It was amazing!!!!!

Smiles & Heat

2011-11-06T17:01:00.001-08:00

Day #5

Smiles from my little man.
This morning was a bit hectic and JT pushed every button I have.
The amazing thing is...
no matter how insane he makes me, all it takes is a little smile
and I forget it all!

Day #6

HEAT!!!
I am so thankful for our cute little gas stove.
Our heat pump decided to quit working.
Having some back up heat is a blessing.
Luckily I work for an HVAC company and it will be fixed tomorrow for sure!

Music

2011-11-04T20:42:00.000-07:00

Day #4

I am so thankful for music and a few specific songs.
One of my adoption friends posted this video a few weeks ago.
I have listened to it everyday since.
The lyrics explain exactly how I have been feeling.
I feel like something is missing in our family and as much as Jon and JT are my life...
I won't be complete until my family is done.

Oops... Day 2 & 3

2011-11-03T21:15:00.000-07:00

So I never promised that I would be perfect at posting every day.
This probably won't be the only time that days are together! ;)

That being said... here is day 2 & 3.

2- My boys...

They are my life. I honestly wouldn't be the same without them.
Jon and I have been through so much and our relationship is stronger than ever.
JT is cRaZy... but I can't imagine my life without him.
He is the most amazing little man ever!!!

3- My parents...

If you don't know my parents... you are missing out!
They are the most amazing people in the world.
The best parents that anyone could have!!!!!
It is mainly because of my parents that JT is in our lives.
I am so so so grateful for everything that they do...
and they do whatever they can for all of us kids.

I love you mom and dad!!!!!

Give Thanks...

2011-11-01T17:43:00.000-07:00

November is National Adoption month, but it is also Thanksgiving. So for the month of November I am going to post every day something that I am thankful for.

Day #1

I am so thankful for Halloween! Not really the holiday, but being able to share it with my sweet little man! There is nothing better than hearing a sweet "Trick or Treat" when you have waited FOREVER to experience it.

What really matters.

2011-10-30T21:39:00.000-07:00

This past week was rough. I am now at a spot in life where I really have to sit and decide what is most important. After some sad news I was angry, upset, and just plain sad. I said a few things that shouldn't have been said and I murmured. I am far from perfect and this week has proved that. The one thing that kept me grounded is the love of the Lord. It never ceases to amaze me that in the middle of a heartbreak or trial, when all hope seems to be gone, HE is right there. No matter what! Even though I know this, it is so easy to forget. The morning after the news I opened up my email to find this video from Hilary Weeks.

It was exactly what I needed to hear and I felt so much LOVE while listening that everything just seemed to go away. Jon and I have done a lot of talking and things will be changing in our family.

What really matters is that we are happy. That JT is happy. As of right now there has been way too much stress and we need a break from it all. I am looking forward to the new year, but I am also looking forward to spending the next 2 months with my boys.

No distractions! No worries! No stress!

Love

2011-10-19T19:01:00.001-07:00

I am so blessed to be JT's mom!!

Grief

2011-10-16T20:50:00.000-07:00

Grief is a funny thing. Just when you think you are doing ok, it sneaks up and encompasses you. I have sat down to write this post a million times, but my words are failing me. So instead of writing a novel of stuff that doesn't make any sense... here is a quote that has stayed in my head since the baby passed away.

"Sometimes God pushes us to our limits. It's because He has greater faith in us than we have in ourselves."

I have been so fortunate to have such amazing family and friends during the hard times in my life. You all know who you are! I can not thank you enough. One of these days we will understand why we have to go through trials and pain. Until then, hold on tight, it's a bumpy ride!

Can you believe it?!?!

2011-09-20T22:29:00.000-07:00

My baby started preschool!

Is he really old enough?
He is spelling colors.
Writing numbers.
Matching shapes with objects.

JT actually stood still while the flag went by!
We survived the "candy" parade at Peach Days

Jon and I turned one year older!
We enjoyed spending Labor day on Kolob!

JT has the most fun when we visit Uncle Kyle!

We were in attendance at a pretty "ugly" BYU game!

JT wasn't quite sure of the horse at Grandma & Grandpa's house at first.

He soon became "best friends" with it!

I can't believe I haven't shared all of the fun we have had the
past few months. I am now pretty much caught up!

So in Love...

2011-07-31T20:21:00.000-07:00

My life has changed so much in the last few weeks.

I went from stressed out to sad to feeling so peaceful.

Today I laid down with this precious little boy.

He fell asleep on my chest.

At that moment the only thing that went through my mind was if he was the only child I ever had on this earth... it would be ok!

He is definitely a 4 year old.

A stinkin cute one at that.

He knows just what buttons to push to make me frustrated.

But he also knows exactly what to do to make me smile.

His hugs and kisses brighten my day.

His smile lights up any room that he enters

He is a miracle and He is my son!

I am so in Love with him... more and more everyday!

Want to help? You know you do! ;0)

2011-07-28T09:06:00.001-07:00

Ok... so I know that I have asked everyone to do this before, but I just have to ask again. See the cute button for our adoption website over to your right? If you have a blog I would LOVE if you would add it to it. I feel very passionate about getting the word out about us. The more people who know... the more eyes and ears that are open. If you know of anyone that is thinking about placing a baby for adoption all it takes is sharing our information. You never know how our birthmother will find us. It could be through YOU!

If you are on facebook you can share the link for our adoption website. It is so simple... copy and paste www.waitingforanothermiracle.blogspot.com into the link place and click attach. Simple as that! Just think of how far our information can be spread if everyone shared that on FB.

I didn't think I would be able to jump into the waiting game so quickly, but this cute little face needs to be a BIG brother! He tells us everyday that his little sister is in heaven with our dog Niko. He is going to be just a sweet brother!

Let me know that you added our button so I can personally thank you! :0)
Until then... THANK YOU!!!!!

Moving On, Moving Forward

2011-07-27T13:58:00.000-07:00

Throughout my life I have been so impatient. Blamed the Lord for making me wait. The first seven years of our marriage was a hard hard time. Not knowing what was going to happen or when we would be able to have a baby. JT came around and my life was filled. Then came the time to wait again. 10 months went by without anything. Suddenly when the time was right we met "T" We were so excited to add a little girl to our family. After months of dealing with early labor, stressful nights, and emotional breakdowns... it all ended so suddenly. We had her room decorated, closet filled, and JT was so ready to be a big brother. When I first heard the news I fell to my knees. The wind was knocked out of me. I didn't think I would make it to the following day, but I stood up. I kept walking. I have to say that I am very proud of myself! I made it through that day plus every day for the next week.

Today marks one week from the time we found out. In that time I haven't questioned the Lord. I have stayed positive and also have really tried to lean on him to understand why these things happen. There are still tears, but I am a new person. I didn't fall and just give up. I remained strong with a Faith that never waivered.

I have the most amazing family and friends. Honestly... I feel so incredibly blessed right now. My husband is my rock. JT is such a sweet boy. My parents and siblings stuck right by my side through this whole trial. Along with all of my other friends and family. I felt every prayer that was offered in our behalf. I KNOW that is what has helped through it all.

Now as we start to wait again... I feel those feelings of doubt try to creep in. I keep pushing them away because I KNOW that the Lord's hand is involved in the adoption process. Our birth mother is somewhere out there. Hopefully she is searching for us.

I TRUST the Lord. I know he has our best interest at heart.

Trials

2011-07-25T21:33:00.001-07:00

When I bought the puzzle for our adoption fundraiser I never thought that it would have a different meaning in just a few short weeks. Last Wednesday my life changed forever. Our little girl passed away at 27 weeks. She is literally walking "Hand in Hand" with Christ right now.

I never thought I would go through anything like this. I thought that being infertile was going to be the hardest thing I would have to bare. I know that God only gives us what we are able to handle. Wednesday and Thursday were very rough days. I had a constant headache and puffy eyes. At the thought of our sweet peanut my tears would fall. I couldn't look in the nursery or see the ultrasound pictures.

I am so grateful for the Gospel. Without the church I wouldn't be where I am today. My faith was not shaken and my hope never dimmed. I made it through this challenge walking upright. It was a hard decision to go back into the "waiting" game for adoption, but we decided in order to move forward that was what we needed to do.

Our little Avery is up in heaven getting her brother or sister ready to come to earth. I am so proud to be her mother. She was too perfect to come to our family right now. I can't wait until the day we will see her again!

Lookie Lookie!!!

2011-06-17T17:06:00.000-07:00

Our adoption puzzle is expanding!

Thank you to those who have helped already.

I can't wait to add more!

Check out the thermometer on the side of our page
to see how much we have earned!

Progress...

2011-06-14T23:21:00.001-07:00

We've made progress... :0)

I am totally overwhelmed by the support we have received in the last 2 days!
Thank you to those of you who have helped so far!!! You are amazing! Our peanut is such a lucky girl to have friends and family like you!
I am so excited to continue adding pieces!!

Adoption Fundraiser!

2011-06-10T10:32:00.000-07:00

The purpose of this fundraiser is to raise money for peanut's adoption by "selling" puzzle pieces of the above picture. Each piece of the puzzle will be worth $5.00. You can buy one piece, 10 pieces, or 100. ;0) When someone "purchases" a piece of the puzzle we will write their name on the back of the puzzle piece and connect the pieces together. As pieces of the puzzle are connected, we will update the blog with pictures so that everyone can see the puzzle being put together. When the puzzle is complete, we are going to glue it together and hang it in her room. When she is older, she will be able to take the puzzle down and look at the back. She will see how important she is to the many, many people who helped bring her home.

To donate online click on the chipin widget to the right side of this page.

If you don't feel comfortable donating online send me an email at budge13@juno.com and I can give you our home address to mail your money. We will be sure to send you a thank you letter letting you know that we received it.

We appreciate all the love and support that we have received through this whole process. If you can spread the word... I would love to get this puzzle together before she is born in a short 3 1/2 months!!!

Miracles come in small packages!

2011-04-29T10:01:00.000-07:00

I have tried to sit down and write this post a few times and get too choked up to finish. Many of you have read my previous posts where I have struggled with patience and faith. It is something I have had a hard time with my entire life. I am positive that is the reason we have infertility problems. It is the Lord's way of teaching me how to have Faith. So to begin this amazing story you will need to have a bit of background of what happened a few months before.

Through our adoption journey I have been very proactive with advertising. We did our blog, posted ALL THE TIME on facebook, told everyone we knew, and even made pass-a-long cards (that for some crazy reason I never passed out) So a few months ago I kept getting this feeling that I should be doing our profile on parent profiles. This is not a free service. For the church they actually waive the start-up fees and only charge $75.00 a month. Jon was totally against it, but I didn't listen to him and got our profile all ready. The next step was getting LDSFS to fax over our homestudy and a recommendation letter. I finally got around to doing that about 2-3 weeks ago. I am a procrastinator. Ask anyone that knows me. All through high school I waited until the last second!

So on to our amazing miracle. Last Wednesday I got a VERY strong impression that I was supposed get our profile up on parent profiles. The only thing that was missing was some pages with our signatures. So I printed out the pages on Wednesday and faxed them on Thursday morning. They said it would be probably be 24 hours before our profile was active. I got an email an hour later that it was active. So So Crazy!

Friday morning on my way to work I got a call from a number I didn't know. I just let it going to voicemail. As soon as I got to work I check my messages. There was a message from T telling us she saw our profile and love it and would love for us to call her back. This is when I posted to facebook that I didn't know what to do. I have heard so many stories of people being scammed. So I was being a bit cautious. I had an eye appt so I decided to call her back when I was done. She called again on our way down so I called back to let her know I would call as soon as I was done. We started to text back and forth just learning a bit about each other. As soon as I could I called her. It was like we had known each other forever. I can't even describe the feeling I had while we talked that first time. I totally pictured it would be awkward to talk to a bm the first time. (Not in this case)

So to finish the story off. She had been looking for couples for 2 weeks and couldn't find anyone she liked. She pretty much had given up. She woke up on Thursday night and felt she was supposed to look again. When she got on and searched we popped up. She said she couldn't take her eyes off us and immediately fell in love. She couldn't explain in words what she felt. There are many more details, but I am going to keep them private. We love her so much. She is the sweetest person I have ever met. We feel so blessed that the Lord helped us find each other.

You hear those stories all the time that people have no doubt that what happened was meant to be. I have always wondered if I would ever get a chance to have one of those. Without a shadow of a doubt... I KNOW that T was meant to find us. The Lord's hand is right in the middle of this adoption. There is a reason that I was supposed to put our profile on the site when I did. I am just so grateful that I was listening when I was prompted. Now, more than ever, I know that the Lord loves us and has our best interest at heart. He hears our heartfelt prayers and knows when we are weak and struggling. He doesn't give us trials to beat us down... he give us trials to make us stronger.

I am so grateful for our family and friends and even people we don't know who have stuck with us through this journey. It has definitely been a roller coaster. And just like I put on facebook... I am off the roller coaster, but now on the scrambler! I am so thankful I get this opportunity to become close to T. She is our angel and we will never be able to thank her enough!

Introducing...

2011-04-26T23:29:00.001-07:00

Baby Girl Hutchings - Due October 17th

Our little peanut!

She has a name, but we are keeping it secret!

(more of the story to come)

Thank you to all of our family and friends who have constantly prayed and thought of us!
We have felt your support every step of the way!

Worn Out!

2011-04-18T09:43:00.000-07:00

We had a successful weekend up north with Jon's family. Uncle Ben is leaving on his mission on Thursday so it was fun to hang out with him for awhile. JT always has fun playing with his cousins too. They played for about 4 hours yesterday in the backyard and this is what happened about 15 minutes into the drive home.

He was totally worn out!

5 Reasons My Little Man Makes Me Smile!

2011-04-11T23:35:00.000-07:00

Spit Bubbles!

Sleeping like an angel!

Big Helper!

He gets his OWN vitamins!

Big Brown Eyes

When you give a mouse a pretzel!

2011-04-07T22:34:00.001-07:00

So, to most of you this just looks like a mousetrap with a pretzel on it.

But to this little man of mine it looked like a snack. It just didn't quite work out. His fingers kind of got stuck!

My Little Sunbeam!

2011-04-05T20:20:00.000-07:00

Wasn't it just yesterday I was cuddling my little bug on my chest?

I still think it is crazy that JT is old enough to be out of nursery and a Sunbeam! I swear it was just yesterday that he was born? It is INSANE that in just 2 short months he will be 4! To be honest, Jon and I were scared to death of this transition. He was good in nursery, but had a hard time sitting still for the lesson and singing time. And he was THAT kid that stole the other kids snacks. lol

(Totally embarassing for us)

So it came time to move upstairs to primary... (cue the horror music) He threw a nice little fit and didn't want us to leave, but finally calmed down. He has the best teacher in the world! Sister Sheneman is amazing! I was scared to hear how the time went. I just knew she was going to tell us he jumped around and couldn't keep still, but she said he did very well. We got home and asked him what he had learned about. Totally expecting the "I don't know" answer. He surprised us and explained to us how we have bones and also a spirit in our body. He still talks about it. So whatever she did totally impacted him. It still shocks us that he actually listens and learns every Sunday.

The next week they learned about Daniel and the Lion's den. Definitely his favorite story now. We hear it all the time. Next came learning about the Holy Ghost and how it told someone not to go over the fence and to the shed. They are now learning about the earth, water, animals, etc. He is an absolutely amazing kid. Yeah he still cries when we drop him off until his teacher gets there, but he is actually learning.

It all came full circle last Sunday while we were watching General Conference. JT was sitting on the floor playing and out of the blue he says, "Hey mom we learned about the Holy Ghost in Primary. Did you hear that guy say the Holy Ghost?" More proof that this kid can listen and does.

I have such an amazing son! :)

2011-04-01T09:03:00.000-07:00

The other day JT was eating cereal and tell me to take his picture. Of course I can't resist because who can resist a kid as cute as him! I tell him to say cheese and he says no mom, take a picture of me eating. I can take BIG bites. So here they are!

Open WIDE

He could barely close his mouth and he was so proud of the pictures. :)

He is also very into music. Daddy has taught him how to enjoy good music. He will sit on his lap and listen for a good 30 minutes. And for JT that is amazing! :) I caught him singing in the car the other day and couldn't resist filming him. He is such a cute little stinker!

Let's talk about..... Money!

2011-03-30T11:55:00.001-07:00

This is going to me venting. I am frustrated and just need to get it out. So if you aren't in the mood to read me griping... than go ahead and show yourself off the page. :) It seems like all I hear about adoption now a days is the time and money that it takes. Which is very very very true. You don't know how much I have wanted to be pregnant. For those of you who think adopting is 100% easier than being pregnant... THINK AGAIN!!! I will take morning sickness. I will take 9 months of feeling fat. I will sacrifice my body to help create a child. I waited 7 LONG years to become a mother. Being a mom was the only thing I ever wanted to do. Throughout those 7 years I told Heavenly Father I would give up everything I had to be able to experience having a baby. I have heard the many stories and know friends that adopted and than got pregnant. Believe me it would be so much easier and I wouldn't have to worry about being that perfect family so someone will choose us. We aren't perfect and I am not going to act like we are perfect. Making sure you have included enough pictures that show you as a happy family. Writing your birthmother letter and worrying that you aren't saying enough or are saying too much. Making sure that your family and friends know you want to adopt. I hate selling myself. I don't think it is fair. Jon says he is sure that we signed up for this in heaven before we came. I am sure we did, but maybe I wasn't quite sure what it was going to entail ;)

My second pet peeve about adoption is the money. It just really gets to me when I see these adoption situations out there in the range of 30k - 40k. Are you kidding me? There are some of us families that don't have that kind of money just sitting around. To me it is getting to be more of a baby selling market which makes me so sad. There is an agency that I know of that charges more for a "white" baby than an AA baby. Which seriously pisses me off. Talk about taking advantage of us Adoptive Parents. It isn't like we don't already have enough stress and heartache on our plates... how about we just pile on another problem... You don't have the money... you don't get a baby. I am grateful for LDSFS and I know that if you are patient than things will happen. It is that patient part... I have posted about it before. It isn't my strongest point.

All I want is for JT to have a sibling to play with. It makes me sad when he is talking to his imaginary cousins (who live in Colorado). I am worried that we will wait so long that I just won't be able to wait anymore and just give up. That isn't fair to Jon or JT, but how long can a person wait? Is it too much to ask to just get a break every now and then? We are a happy family. We love each other. We adore JT and just want another child to adore! I will go as far as I can in this adoption process. Believe me I am sure many of you are tired of seeing our profile on facebook. There is someone out there for our family. I am excited to find our birthfamily. Please help me to be more patient and forget about the pain and heartache as we go through this process. And please be patient with me while I am a crazy person as I "advertise" for our little family.

"Forget yourself and get to work."

2011-03-26T19:17:00.001-07:00

I was to teach in Relief Society at church today. This was my very first time. Luckily I taught on Charity which is pretty easy. I am so grateful for the opportunity and all of the growing that I did while preparing. I pretty much learned that I need to forget myself and get to work serving others. This quote from Pres. Hinckley actually popped into my head when I was having my rough day last week. From now on I am going to try to focus on others instead of focusing on my problems. We will see how well I do :)

In other news, look at these cute kids!

We hung out at my parents after church today and since it was so beautiful outside we played basketball and had so much fun. JT and Bailey rode the four-wheeler forever. She has a perma-grin on her face. I am so glad they play well together. It is definitely preparing him on how to act as an older brother.

Today, I am tired...

2011-03-24T09:30:00.001-07:00

Tired of working.
Tired of not being with my little man all day.
Tired of school.
But mostly... tired of waiting!

Today is my down day.
I don't have them as often as I used to.
For those of you who think I have a great attitude... Thank you.
This just goes to show I am not perfect.

I am grateful that the Lord let's us have bad days once in awhile.
On bad days my arms feel empty and ache.
My brain won't shut off.
I think all day about our next baby.
Where is our birth mother?
How is she doing?
Will we hear anything soon?
When will we be chosen?

These days bring me to my knees.
Please help me get through this day.
Pleading to take it all away.

So today... I cry, but tomorrow I will be back to me... hopefully! ;0)

Open Adoption

2011-03-20T19:43:00.000-07:00

This has been on my mind a lot lately. When we first decided to adopt we honestly didn't really know what we were doing. We didn't do research... we just jumped and hoped that it would all take care of itself. We were so lucky that the agency we were with pretty much took care of everything and it all worked out. We were naive when it came to contact after placement. His birth mother didn't want any contact so we went with that. And honestly that is really what we wanted and felt comfortable with. We actually ended up sending pictures and letters for a year, but she never got them due to a situation that came up. In the year that we have been with LDSFS and waiting to adopt again we have learned so much about open adoption and what a blessing it can be.

Jon and I have talked about finding JT's birthmother for the past few months. I have times where I wish I could just call her to let her know that JT is doing well. I wonder if she thinks about us often and pray that she is doing well. He has older siblings and a younger sibling. To me it is so important that he has a chance to know them. We still don't know when we will contact her, but probably in the next few years we will try to find her.

Now comes the exciting part. We are so excited and look forward to having a relationship with our next birthmother. Not only through pictures and letters, but we hope we will be able to have visits. We have talked to and seen other families have relationships with their birthmoms and it is such a blessing in everyone's life. For me to have an open adoption is not only to add another child to our family, but add a whole other family! (birthmom, birthdad, and their families) The sweetest thing to hear is JT praying every night before bed to bless our birthmother that she can find us and that she will be ok. I am so thankful to have learned about open adoption and the miracle that it can be in our lives.

What Faith Can Do...

2011-03-15T10:03:00.000-07:00

I am a wife. I am a mother that longs to have more children. I am weak. I am human. I can't always pretend that everything in my life is perfect. I have always questioned the Lord about our infertility. I never really understood the reason behind it. I can't even count how many blessings I have had that have said, "In the Lord's Time." Don't you think after being told that over and over I would finally get it? Well I now do! At times my patience has been worn so thin that I didn't think I would make it. My faith has been shaken. Remember my post a few weeks ago about Peace? Well that peace continues to be my constant companion and as I work towards my goal of having enough patience that "In the Lord's Time" is enough; my faith has been growing exponentially. I can't even begin to describe what the past month has been like. Yeah I have broke down a few times, but every time I fall I stay on my knees and talk to my Heavenly Father. He is the ONE that knows exactly what I am going through. He is the one that is allowing me to learn more Patience. He is the one that is helping my Faith become stronger. I finally get it and I am so thankful that I have this chance to grow not only as a wife and mother, but also as a Daughter of God.

How many times can you say that you are thankful for your trials? I know the first 11 years of our marriage I definitely wasn't thankful for mine. I seriously couldn't understand why I had to go through what I did, but now... I wouldn't take any of it back. I have the most amazing son. He is a handful and he definitely tries my patience most days, but it is the hugs and kisses and sweet "I love you's" that reminds me just how precious being a mother can be. As I drove to work this morning I changed the radio station came to a Christian music station. I have never listened to this station in my life, but the song that was beginning to play sounded cool so I listened. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

Because of my faith I am a better wife. I am a grateful mother who will have more children. I am a little less weak. I am still a human. I know I can't always pretend that everything in my life is perfect, but I will take my trials and grow from them.

My naughty little man!

2011-03-11T18:31:00.001-08:00

This kid is on a kick of naughty behavior. Our blog is soon going to be about the daily trouble he gets into. He went into the kitchen to get some water and then he was very very quiet. I asked him what he was doing and he said he was feeding "fredabeta" (Our beta's name is Fred) I knew as soon as he said that it was going to be a mess. He tried to feed Fred once before and got in trouble so I didn't think he would attempt it again. Boy was I wrong. This time he found the flake food. Ahhhhhh - so I sent him to his room and yelled to Jon who came down to help. I hate cleaning the fish bowl... Jon is pro. :) When Jon asked JT why he was in his room he said, "I'm just playing with my army men. I didn't get in trouble." Oh this kid knows just what to say. So we had a little talk about lying and also why he doesn't feed the fish unless he has help. Poor Fred was not a happy fish for awhile.

Before: Notice the cloudy water and red flake food all over the bottom?

After: Still not a happy fish... I think he goes into shock for awhile when we clean his bowl.

By the way... I am totally on a blogging streak! 3 posts in 2 days...
That is pretty darn good if I have to say so myself!!
It helps to have a busy child that loves to get into trouble! :)

Grape juice anyone?

2011-03-11T10:02:00.000-08:00

Daddy left a pitcher of grape juice on the counter the other day. JT decided that the dogs would enjoy some of that tasty beverage! He plays so well with the dogs when they are inside for the night that I usually don't have to worry about him doing anything naughty. I even went into the kitchen a few times and didn't notice the purple liquid smeared across the floor. Shockingly enough... the dogs didn't care for the juice at all! Notice he even gave them their own cup. :/

Look at this cute little face!!!

2011-03-10T23:00:00.000-08:00

He is so ready to be a BIG BROTHER!!!!!

Please keep your eyes and ears open and spread the word about our little family.

We also have pass-a-long cards now so if you me to mail you some, I would love to!

You never know when you might come across someone that knows of someone else that is thinking about adoption and if you had a pass-a-long card you could give it to them. :) (Send your address to my email and I will get cards in the mail! budge13@juno.com)

Thank you so all of our friends and family who continue to pray for our family. This has been a crazy ride, but with the Lord on our side anything is possible!

Just a little crazy!

2011-03-08T09:50:00.000-08:00

So... do you see anything wrong with this picture?

Yeah... I kind of wore 2 different shoes to work yesterday and didn't notice until I went to put them on again to go to Walmart last night. I am just going a little crazy! :)

Fun Weekends

2011-03-05T23:00:00.000-08:00

We have had a few crazy weekends. I didn't take pictures of the first one which is sad because Jon's sister lives with his parents and the kids played so well together. Plus we have a new nephew who is soooo adorable.

Last weekend we spent Saturday in Vegas with Ramsey and Shaunie shopping and walking around. I took the camera, but only took one picture with my phone. I need to get better with pictures.

We had so much fun. Bass Pro Shops, Factory Outlets, Planet Hollywood, H&M, and PF Changs. Seriously what could be better. A day with people we love without the kidlets. :)

Look at this gummy bear!
We picked it up at the Sugar Factory in Vegas. JT loves it!

We were supposed to head up north on Sunday for the Jazz vs celtics game, but the weather was bad so we waited until Monday morning. It turned out to be a long day. We left at about 10 and got home at 3 AM!!! We had so much fun. JT had a blast, but we won't be taking him to another game for a few years. That is just too much time for a little one to stay still.

This kid just melts my heart!

Such a cheeser!

Daddy only got 1/2 of the statue!

Momma cut off Stockton's head. :)

JT's favorite part of the game... the blimp.

My amazing boys.

We took pictures with Jon's phone... I really should have just brought the camera so I could zoom. :(

Raja Bell!!!

So ready for this weekend!!!!!

2011-02-25T19:20:00.000-08:00

I am so excited for the next 3 days. It almost feels like a little vacation. We are going to have a BLAST!!! :) First tomorrow we are leaving early and going here...

Today is my sister-in-law Shaunie's birthday. To celebrate, we are leaving the kids with Nana and Papa and hitting Sin City! :) H&M, Ceasar's Palace, Bass Pro Shop, Game Works, and lots of yummy food. We are just going for the day, but after church on Sunday Jon, JT, and I are heading up to SLC for this...

Jazz vs. Celtics!!! Jon loves the Celtics so for Christmas I bought him 2 tickets in the 8th row. We are so excited to see the amazing players on the Celtics, but also to see the new Jazz! It will be the first time the 2 new players will be playing at home, so it should be so much fun. I am so ready to put all the stress behind me and have an amazing weekend.

The song that will help all!!!

2011-02-23T12:33:00.000-08:00

So this song is my favorite. Through all the infertility, adoption, and just normal trials I have had in my life I could always turn this song on and feel instantly better. Hopefully it will help at least one person who may be struggling. I really just felt the need to share it. :)

Guess where I am going on Monday! Jazz vs. Celtics!!!!! 8th row baby. I am excited to see all the awesome players that play for the Celtics. Now that D-Will is gone I just hope that the Jazz can pull it together. I will always be a jazz fan, but Monday I will definitely be cheering for the other team! :)

Oh... and SPREAD THE WORD about us adopting!!! :)

Networking

2011-02-13T21:24:00.000-08:00

This adoption process is CRAZY!!! When we were going through the process with JT it all went so fast. This time is different. We are using LDSFS and there are soooo many families, the wait is going to be longer. So this is where my craziness comes in. Some of you have probably seen me sharing our adoption blog on facebook. I figure that the more people that know we are wanting to adopt... the quicker we will be able to add another miracle. So here is where all of my friends and family and whoever reads this blog comes in. I challenge you to add our button to your blog. Share our adoption blog on facebook. Keep us in mind if you hear about anyone that is expecting. For those of you who blog and have tons of followers... post about our adoption journey :) Click on the link on the right to find our adoption blog. Now that I am doing 100% better in the patience and faith department... it is time to get NETWORKING!!!

Peace

2011-02-10T09:38:00.000-08:00

I sit here at work. It is payday. I have filing to do and stacks of paperwork to go through, but I am here. The past week I have reflected on my life. Counted my blessings. Enjoyed the miracle that JT is. I have reached out to birth mothers who are making the most difficult decision of their lives. Been support to other parents hoping to adopt. I have tried to not focus on the negative in my life. Yeah I am not perfect and Jon can attest that I still have my rough days. I have truly made a conscious effort to remain positive. I have placed my life in the Lord's hands to do what he will with it. I have prayed for our birth mother and child wherever they are to be comforted and blessed. I have searched for the peace that I need to make it through this roller coaster journey. TODAY I received that peace. It wasn't in the comfort of my bedroom or sitting at church. I am in an office with the bathroom fan running in the background. I am surrounded by the reminder that I really should get to work.

I found a website that had 3 quotes that were just what I needed to hear.

At the end of the day, it's up to us to choose whether to focus on what tears us apart or holds us together

Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past ~ stop planning the future ~ stop trying to figure out precisely how we feel ~ stop deciding with our mind what we want our heart to feel ~ Sometimes we just have to go with "Whatever happens- happens"

Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.

After I read these quotes I was filled with the most warm comforting peaceful feeling. I KNOW that the Lord has my best interests at heart. He wouldn't put me through something if it wasn't for my good. My job is to learn from it and use it to help others.

I am so grateful for JT's birth mother. It is truly a miracle that he found us despite her best efforts to sabotage it. Miracle #1- She went in to have an abortion only to find out she was a few days too late. Miracle #2- She only wanted a African American couple for her baby. Obviously we are white. I am so thankful that the Lord protected JT. I can't imagine our life without him. I still will have my rough days I am sure, but I have been searching and praying for Peace and now that I have it I will NEVER let it go

In the Lord's Time!

2011-01-28T21:01:00.001-08:00

Do you ever just want something "Right Now!!!" Yeah, me too. So that has been the thing that I have been working on. Not focusing on my time, but the Lord's time. It is by far not the easiest thing I have done. I think sometimes when we work on a weakness Heavenly Father sends a few more extra trials just to make sure we "get" it. I finally get it I hope... I am still struggling, but things are getting easier. I am finding a peace where turmoil used to be. To me that is success!

Guess What!!!!!

2010-12-17T15:37:00.000-08:00

So excited to say that this semester is finally over. It kicked my butt for some reason. Not sure why, but I am very excited to have a month to relax and enjoy the holidays with my family. I should feel rejuvanated enough to start again in January.

It is beginning to feel like Christmas around our house.

The tree is decorated!

The nativity is up!

We have made several visit to the Jolley Red Man...
and even progressed to sitting on his lap! :)

And JT is making sure that he will have the most energy on the BIG day!

Just in case...

2010-12-06T21:50:00.001-08:00

Just in case you don't hear from me in the next few weeks....
look under this pile of books! I may have been crushed!

I now remember why I hate finals. Not that studying for
tests is bad, but is seems like professors love to make the last 2 weeks of school HORRIBLE!

I do have to say that I am so proud of myself. I always promised my family (Grams)
that I would go back to school and I now have 2 semesters under my belt!

I am signed up for Spring semester and am actually excited for my classes! :)

So for now... I am stuck under these books, but next week we will be
focusing on Christmas and enjoying the rest of December!

My life!

2010-11-30T22:45:00.000-08:00

This is the picture text I got today at work.

These two are my life! I don't know if I could function without them.
So as we enter this holiday season I just want to say that I am so grateful for them and for everything in my life.

I have decided to focus this season on the things that I have instead of the things that I don't have. So here is to a little change. :)

11 Years!!!!!

2010-11-17T16:12:00.000-08:00

Can you believe that we have been married for 11 years? We decided to take a hop skip and jump away to Vegas for the night. We went to the bodies exhibit at the Luxor and then ate at PF Changs. (Mmmmm)

So the bodies exhibit.. first I will just say that it was VERY interesting. I will probably never go back, but I am glad we saw it at least once.

The circulatory part of the exhibit was our favorite part. It is amazing just how many blood vessels and veins we have in our body. This is just a picture of the hand, but they had a full human body on display.

We checked into a cute little resort and played Yahtzee all night. It was so much fun to chill and just talk.

Between me working, both of us going to school, and JT wanting our constant attention we don't have much time to just talk. The next morning we decided to check out Bass Pro Shops. It was very cool. They had some amazing animals. My 2 favorites were the giraffe and lion.

When we were done at Bass Pro Shops we got a call from a car dealership we had been working with that they had a car we might like... so off we went to St George to look at it. We ended up getting the car and are so excited to have something new to drive. Overall it was an amazing anniversary trip. I couldn't ask for a better spouse. We have had our ups and downs, but I wouldn't give any of our trials away for a different life.

I am truly blessed!!!

Dog & Halloween

2010-11-15T10:51:00.000-08:00

Ape & Sum... are you shocked? :) I actually have 2 more posts to do, but want to keep them separate.

About a month before Halloween our neighbors asked us if we wanted one of their puppies. I knew Jon probably wasn't interested since we already have 2 dogs, but I told him anyway. We went over that same day to look at them and fell in love with him. A few days before Halloween we were able to bring Ash home with us. So for now we have 3 dogs. Ahhhhh most of the time it is crazy, but I love watching JT play with them. He is so cute.

So Halloween this year was fun for the first half. We went to a little bit of our ward's trunk or treat and then went to my parents. For those of you who don't know my mom & dad bought a Fed-Ex route that Ramsey does. I really wanted to find a Fed-Ex uniform, but they don't make them for kids. I ended up with this. It was a huge hit! JT was having a blast and halfway around the parking lot he didn't want to do it anymore. Within 15 he had a fever and was so sick. We ended up going home and nursing his fever all night and the next day. A few days after that my sisters boys got the same thing. Stupid viruses!

I decided to throw something together last minute... crazy scientist or whatever! :)
It is fun to dress up

Since JT was sick Saturday night and half the day on Halloween... we decided once his fever broke and he was acting better to carve our pumpkin. He wasn't a very big fan of cleaning the pumpkin out if you can tell by his face, but it was fun to do as a family.

Sad to say this was the first pumpkin we have carved since JT was born. We are pathetic I know. It will definitely be something we do EVERY year now.

Going Private!

2010-11-08T08:33:00.000-08:00

It is time... and as much as I hate to do it we need to. So if you still want to read about our fun adventures or adoption stuff when I actually post... let me know. I will go back and get the emails from when I did this before, but let me know. Hope you all have a fun week! :)

Our summer

2010-11-02T23:26:00.001-07:00

So since we have been crazy busy with school, work, and life... I decided to update a bit about what we have been up to the past few months. Here is our Summer in pictures.

JT became a super hero with crazy hair.

Daddy decided it was time to shave it all off. Look at our handsome monkey.

We started remodeling our upstairs bathroom.

(It is still in progress, but almost complete)

Trips to Kolob
Blowing massive dandelions

JT's first time fishing. He picked out his own pole and had so much fun.

Family vacation to San Diego.

Riding the sky thing... notice his strained smile?

He was freaking out

Patiently waiting for Shamu.

Imperial Beach.

We fell in love with Coronado Island.

We will be going back there soon.

Still smiling after a long day at Sea World.

Along with all the fun we had we were also crazy enough to go to summer school full-time. By the way... I will never do that again!

The Good and the Bad

2010-10-20T11:04:00.000-07:00

Sitting at work today I was struggling. I still have bad days... I am not perfect. Actually not even close. Remember my last post? Patience? Well this girls is still trying to learn patience. The first 7 years of our marriage while we waited to have a baby were difficult. I surrounded myself with friends and their kids that I could try to help fill the void. It worked for awhile. Then JT came... that beautiful little boy that I had dreamed about. It was a quick process. 6 months - from the time we started our paperwork to the day he was placed in my arms. At that moment nothing else in the world mattered. My life was complete... or so I thought.

Fast forward a few years. JT is about to turn 3 and Jon and I had been mulling around the idea of adopting again. Deep inside I just wished I would have gotten pregnant. Just for the fact that I knew I had learned enough patience the first time around. ;) The Lord said, "I don't think so" Many of you know it took quite awhile to get that darn paperwork done. I just didn't feel like it was time. A year passed and I finally felt that little nudge... well big push. The rest went so fast. Home visits, interviews, online profile, and setting up our adoption blog. We were finally approved at the beginning of June. JT turned 3. All of the sudden he isn't my baby anymore. He still whines and refuses to poop in the toilet, but he is independent and will only cuddle with me when he doesn't want to go to bed. My arms started to ache for another baby. I know the Lord has more planned for us. Multiple blessing has confirmed this to me, but it is always in the Lord's time. See the problem? TIME... the thing that I am not good with. Although I am crazy busy with working full-time and going to school full-time and being a wife and mother, I still have down moments during the day where my brain will not stop thinking about our next baby.

The beginning of September we received an email from a birthmother. She told us a little about herself, the reason why she was putting her baby up for adoption and that she really liked us. It was our birthdays and Labor Day so we sat at the mountain in anticipation of the email we would have waiting for us when we got home. We kept it secret from everyone except my parents and siblings. Monday we raced home to find no email. A few days later... no email. A month and a half later... no email. So now I had gotten my hopes up (despite trying not to) just to have them crushed. A few weeks ago our old adoption agency informed us of a situation of a birthmother that was actually due this month. Problem though... we would have to come up with close to $22,000 dollars. Yeah not even an option. The night I got the email I almost felt like Satan had dangled something in my face just to get my hopes up again. I am sure that isn't the reason, but that is how I felt. Now I just sit here today wondering, hoping, and praying that I can survive this second time around.

Don't get me wrong... I am so thankful for everything that I have. I seriously have the most amazing husband, he stays at home with JT and is going to school and loves me despite my weaknesses. JT is my miracle baby... most days I look at him and just wonder why I am so lucky to be chosen as his mom. I don't feel worthy of him. My family is so supportive and I love that I am close to be with them. I have my own home and cars that work. I am able to juggle my job and going to school. Something I never thought I would be able to do.

I have my good days and my bad days. The good outweigh the bad, but I am still human. Not quite a stepford housewife yet! ;)

Longing...

2010-10-08T09:20:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wanted something so bad that your whole body and soul longs for it? That ONE thing in your life that tries your patience. It keeps you up at night and takes up every nook and cranny of your brain. After waiting 7 years to finally get my miracle child I thought I was at a point that I would be content. JT is the one thing that I have ever wanted. 3 years later and I find myself waiting again. I wish I could say that I would be happy with just one child, but something inside me knows that there are more children meant to come to our family and for some silly reason the Lord really wants to teach me patience. You would have thought I had learned the first time around huh? Well... I guess not. Patience is that vice that just rocks me to my core. It chews me up and spits me out during my darkest moments. President Monson's talk last Sunday on gratitude really woke me up. I sat there sobbing while holding JT. There I was... wanting something so bad while taking for granted the one thing I had been blessed with. I came across a thought from President Uchtdorf about patience... I think I will blow it up big and post it around my house.

"Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can--working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well! Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most."

I am hoping now that I have a somewhat renewed strength and will to be patient I can overcome or learn just what the Lord's wants me too. I know wanting children is a righteous desire, but we also have to remember it is in the Lord's time and I guess that is the part that I struggle with the most. :) My arms are ready for another precious child. So Heavenly Father whenever you are ready... send them on down.

Thank You Thank You Thank You!!!

2010-06-27T20:15:00.001-07:00

Thank you to everyone that has put our adoption button up on your blog. I am so thankful for wonderful family and friends like you. We are still totally crazy with life right now. It is finally midterms and who would have though 4 weeks would drag on. :) I am hoping the next 4 weeks flies by. I am really looking forward to a little break before fall semester starts. We are still being very patient with the whole adoption thing. How long has it been since we got approved? 2 week? lol who knows... I am just ready for another baby!

JT is now 3!! Seriously where did the time go? It seems like he was just born and now he is a big boy. We were able to celebrate his birthday with my sister and her kids. We also had a blast while they were here. Hanging out and just having fun. Other than that our lives are pretty boring. lol They consist of wake up, work, homework, play with JT, clean the house, cook dinner, homework, sleep... do it all over again! :) I am sure you are so jealous!

The boys loved the pinata... Pacers was a little sad he was hitting McQueen though.

JT & Trey Trey loved it!!!

What is better than money!

I am sure he wanted to take this puppy home, but we already have 2.. sorry kiddo! :)

Let's get the word out.

2010-06-11T20:07:00.000-07:00

The church is now promoting "finding" your baby instead of "waiting." So I am taking a very proactive approach and getting our information out there any way I can. I am so thankful for this opportunity that we have. I never imagined that we would be in this situation. I always thought by now that we would have been done with our family. Little did we know that the Lord has a different plan for us. JT has been such a blessing in our lives and we can't wait to add another special spirit to our family. This is where you can help.

* I have set up an adoption blog. Please grab the button over to the right and put it on your blog. It will take you directly to our adoption blog. If you are interested in having people grab the button from your blog, let me know, and I can email you the html code.

* Keep your eyes and ears open. Any situation you hear of could be a possible lead. (It is sad to put it that way, but it is the honest truth) I will have pass-along cards soon and will give them to whoever is interested. That way if you hear about anything you can give them a card.

I am so thankful for all of you. Adoption is a whole different world, but I am so greatful to be able to experience it. Without adoption I wouldn't have my JT. You have all been so wonderful and supportive. :) You are the best. I will keep you updated on anything that happens! Until then... spread the word!!!!!

We are approved!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-06-11T10:18:00.000-07:00

So... I pretty much stink at the blog stuff! It seems when my life is busy the blog gets put on the back burner. I work a full-time job, I am a "full-time" homemaker, I have a 2 almost 3 year old (no explaining that one), Jon and I are going to school, church callings, family stuff, and on top of it all trying to get our adoption stuff done. But I have amazing news... We are approved. It was official on Wednesday! I can't believe that everything is falling into place and so quickly. I plan on posting everything that you guys can do to help us find our next baby. I have to finish a couple of things though. So stay tuned! :) I promise it won't be months this time. Only a few days! Until then... enjoy looking at this cute little guy!

Can you say busy?

2010-02-10T13:52:00.000-08:00

Well that is what we are. And that is why I haven't posted. I didn't even post Christmas... I am terrible! :) Oh well... hoping to catch up one of these nights after my house is quiet. Stay tuned... I am sure it will be good stuff.

Here is a picture for your viewing pleasure. Valentines Day is coming up so here is JT in his V-day shirt last year. I can't believe how little he was.

Family Pictures

2009-12-14T20:41:00.001-08:00

Things are pretty crazy at our house. We have had so many changes in the past month it is crazy. Jon lost his job and his back home full time. He will be starting school in January and is looking for a part-time job. We had a great Thanksgiving with my family. We have just stayed pretty low key for the most part. Trying to figure out our future and get ready for Christmas. Everything is bought I just have to wrap. Not really my favorite thing to do. We are excited though. JT will be fun this year. Last Saturday we had my cousin Stef take our family pictures. It had snowed the night before and was freeing outside, but we decided that it would be fun to take some in the snow. So we headed up to Rockville to my grandpas old rock house and got them done. She did an amazing job. I recommend if you want some pictures done check out her website.

http://www.sugarsnapbystef.blogspot.com/

Here is a slideshow of the pictures. I love all of them. Hopefully I can keep up with this blog after the holidays. The first thing on the list for the New Year... finally finish our adoption stuff. I think it is time. :) Don't you?

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Coming soon...

2009-12-14T12:09:00.000-08:00

I know you are all shocked and thought we were dead, but we are still around. I will be posting family pictures as soon as I get them. They turned out amazing!!! :) To be cont...

Crumbling walls...

2009-11-18T17:26:00.000-08:00

I am tired and ready to just be done. I have all these walls up to protect myself and they do a pretty good job. Every now and than something will get over the wall, but most of the time I can handle it. Jon and I just celebrated our 10 year anniversary. I can't believe it has been 10 years. It has been a bitter sweet time for me though. I have sat and thought a lot about our 5 year anniversary. We were right in the middle of infertility and I was a mess. I felt like I had no other options and just wanted to give up. Nothing was fair. Everyone else had what i wanted. Why couldn't it be just a little bit easier for me? As I laid in bed the night of our anniversary in Vegas while Jon was sleeping all those same feeling came over me and I cried for a few hours. The past few months have been so stressful and as much as I have relied on the Lord and kept my "walls" up I feel like I have been continually beaten. Tonight the walls are crumbling. I can't do it by myself anymore.

I have a beautiful son who means the world to me. We waited 8 1/2 years for him and every single heartache and tear is worth the time I have had with him already. I have been ready for another baby for awhile and have struggled with everything that needs to be done. Getting the paperwork done... doing the homestudy... painting this marvelous picture of our family so we can go out and "sell" ourselves. I feel like it is time, but I have no motivation to get it all done. Is that the Lord's way of telling me it isn't time or what? I am frustrated. Why can't I just be the one that says it is time for another baby and a few months later we can announce we are expecting. I know that I must have signed up for this plan in heaven and I am sure there is a reason for everything, but this is one of the walls. The wall that smiles at someone when they announce they are expecting. Or acts excited when a baby is born. It can only last so long and I am not going to be the one that is a jerk about it. No one understands and I can only hear so often that in the Lords time will it happen. I already know that. Do you think it is easy?

We have been so blessed with jobs that can support our family. I have the best job in the world. They have been there for me for 3 years. Allowed me to bring JT to work for the first 18 months of his life. Jon has been blessed with some great jobs and I am so thankful that we haven't had to struggle too much. The time has finally come that Jon is going back to school. We have tried multiple times in the past 10 years for him to go to school and it has NEVER worked out. Not that we haven't tried. It just hasn't been time. We now feel it is time and of course it comes right at the time that we bought our house and want another baby. See where my problem is? I am never going to be able to stop working. I was always the person that wasn't going to work when I had kids. It was something we felt strong about. Now JT is going to a babysitter all day while I work and when we get home he isn't the happy boy he is all day. So I feel so impatient (after working an 8 hour day) and feel like I am constantly getting frustrated with him. That isn't fair to him and I feel like a horrible mother. Jon wants to go into law which will take us away from Hurricane. :( I can't even begin to talk about that. Eventually we are going to go to a different school which means I have to leave my home. I don't know if I am just being a very big baby, but why is everything bothering me so much. I am 100% behind Jon in what he wants to do, but why does it all have to happen at once. Why can't it just be easy?

Remember those walls? They are crumbling tonight and I am sitting here with aching empty arms watching my little boy play and missing my husband and just feeling sorry for myself. So just let me wallow in my sadness for awhile and be patient because I am sure in a quick amount of time I will be back and I will have built the walls even higher... "Just in case"

Hard decisions...

2009-10-24T21:53:00.000-07:00

Well the time has come to find a babysitter for JT. It is something that I said I would never do, but based on what is going on right now we really don't have a choice. So I need to find the best babysitter in the world. :) Anyone know someone? My brother in law will be headed back to Springville to get prepared for his mission in the next week or so. That means we need to find someone fast! So if you have any suggestions I would love to hear them. Hopefully I will sit down and post some pictures soon. We just have way too much going on right now.

More changes... imagine that!

2009-10-18T21:30:00.000-07:00

So just when I thought things were slowing down and we were in a groove... things are changing. Imagine that! Travis (Jon's brother that has been living with us) put in his mission papers a few weeks ago. He didn't tell his parents because he wanted to surprise them. So last Thursday Ben, one of his other brothers, snuck out to the mailbox (in his boxers) as soon as the mailman came to see if the call came. It did so we headed up to Springville on Friday afternoon. We went to dinner and than all sat down to play games. Travis pulled out his call and threw it on the game him and his parents were playing and totally surprised them. He opened it and he will be going to ........ McAllen, Texas (Spanish speaking) and will be leaving December 9th!!!!! Holy crap... December 9th... 1 1/2 months away. He is my babysitter and huge part of our family. Jon is working out of town and I am still working full-time... now what! So that is where we are right now. Our brains are definitely working overtime. I told Jon as he was stressing out... remember FAITH!!!!! It will all work out. The next month and a half will be busy, but we are excited for Travis and are thankful that he has been here. I almost feel like I am sending a son out on a mission. Now the time comes to prepare! :)

Changes...

2009-10-06T14:18:00.000-07:00

It is crazy how the Lord works and the miracles he performs. We have made some crazy changes in the past few weeks and only the Lord would know how everything would happen. We have been talking about getting rid of the vending business... It wasn't bringing in much money and was just stressful. Plus we weren't about to pay the amount of money the other owner wanted. So 3 weeks ago he called and said he may have a buyer of some of the machines, but Jon would keep doing the other schools. Which wouldn't really get us ahead just keep us going somewhat. A few days later he called back and pretty much said he was going to sell the whole thing. That is the point of my last post. Trusting in the Lord. I didn't feel any stress after that night. I knew that things were happening the way they were supposed to and I was just going to wait and see how it all played out. We thought about applying to Walmart distribution, but before I did I called my little brother and asked if Interstate was hiring. Or Beau's crew. They are in Arizona Mon - Thurs. This was on a Tuesday and he didn't know, but said they would get back to us towards the end of the week. We had enough of a money cushion that we would make it at least until the middle of October, but after that there would nothing. Thursday the girl that worked for Jon said they had come by and picked up her keys. Jon called me and I was instantly sick. I don't know if it was just the thought that it was actually happening or what. I sat at work and couldn't concentrate on anything. For an hour I just stared at my computer screen. Than I got a text that would change our lives. Ramsey said that Jon got the job and he would start on Monday. I can't even tell you the relief we both felt. We have felt the Lord in our lives so much in the past few months and I am very thankful for that. We don't know what the future will bring. After the jobs are done down there he might get laid off or he might move to another location. But when we get to that point we will worry about it.
We have been blessed to have his brother living with us while we help him prepare to get on his mission. He stays home with JT while I am working which is another blessing. I don't know what we will do when he actually leaves, but it will all work out. The adoption process is slow go. We have had a lot of problems with paperwork, but I am not really stressed about it. When it happens it happens right? I am enjoying JT and savor every minute I have with him. He is growing up so fast and is so smart. It amazes me what they can learn in such a little time. He is putting words together and has the best personality. I love being his mom and am so thankful for his birth mother for her sacrifice. I don't think about it often, but really it brings tears to my eyes to think about what she did for us. I can't imagine life without him. He is the best "little" boy. :) Anyway... enough of my novel. I will post pictures later.

A Trial of our Faith...

2009-09-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

Things are changing dramatically in our house. I don't want to go into details. We are keeping it pretty private. Yesterday was a really rough day. You know those days when you just want to crawl into bed and hope that everyone forgets you are there. It was the lowest I have felt in a long long long time. We have almost been married 10 years and to say we have had our fair share of trials would be absolutely true. You all know our #1 trial... infertility, and amazingly our trials right now don't have to do with that. Well it is always there. There is always the longing for another baby, but we have more important things to take care of at the moment.
So after I had my breakdown and scrapped myself off the floor we picked up our scriptures and turned to 1 Nephi 4 where Nephi and his brothers are going to Jerusalem again to try and get the plate of brass. I have read this chapter many many times and it has never hit me as hard as it did last night. When we are in a situation where we have no idea what comes next or what is planned for the future. This is the chapter to read. Nephi didn't know how they were going to get the plates, but he trusted in the Lord and knew he would lead them to the way. The verse that stood out the most and that has comforted me today is verse 6. "And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do" I have always struggled with Faith and Trusting the Lord. It always seems so much easier to do things by myself. With our infertility I have learned that the only way we will have our family is to trust in the Lord. That doesn't mean I am pro... obviously because I still struggle daily with it, but I am getting better.
Everything is chaotic in our house. I woke up this morning with a calm and peaceful feeling. I haven't stressed about what is to come. I KNOW that we will be blessed and whatever is going to happen will happen. This is a new feeling for me. Trust me... it kind of scares me, but I am trying my hardest. As things change and we learn what our future will hold I will update everyone. For now I am going to bed.

Updates...

2009-09-07T22:26:00.001-07:00

So I did 2 posts about our Summer and I still have to do labor day, but make sure you read the 2 posts below this. :)

Summer continued...

2009-09-07T21:54:00.001-07:00

We have learned and done a lot of things this Summer...

Getting our back yard ready for grass. I can't wait!!

We should be planting in the next few weeks. Taking a spin on daddy's bike around the block.

Learning to bottle peaches... food storage people! :)

BTW... they are very good.

Painting my house... I can't find a picture of the living room.

Will have to post those pictures later.

Practing our jump shot. He has form already!

Getting a little computer time in while the boys where visiting and

there were computers sitting everywhere!!!

Preparing to become a sweet protective big brother.

He is going to be pro!

Summer is coming to a close... so I should probably get caught up on the blog.

2009-09-07T21:26:00.001-07:00

We had an amazing summer. We didn't go on any fancy vacations or spend tons of money on stuff we don't really need. But we did spend time with family and created memories. Which to me is more rewarding than any fancy vacation. We spent time up north with Jon's family and went to the zoo with my parents. JT loved the animals, but he mostly loved the big granite ball that spun around in the water. You know how kids are with water. Thank you to Nana and Papa for being there with us to help with JT and make his first time at the zoo memorable! :)

We spent about 30 minutes playing at this ball. Wish we could have one at home.

Any resemblance? ;)

Our family on the Train.

Daddy wouldn't let him walk. Sad sad face.

He loves the carousel... He rode it 4 times at the fair and we had to try it out here.

Going...

Going...

Gone!!! We wore him out!

Hold your horses... we will be back soon!

2009-08-18T11:28:00.000-07:00

So it is summertime and we are as busy as everyone else. Along with everything else going on I decided to start painting my house. So most nights after JT is in bed I am up painting. Thankfully school is back in session so Jon is working again. We were so blessed over the Summer... we actually made it financially I think. lol We have done so many fun things as a family and I have gotten some pictures, but I have been neglecting my camera. We will be taking JT to the Hogle Zoo on Saturday with my parents so I will get many many pictures and hopefully find time to post when we get back. Until then... enjoy one of my favorite pics of my little man.

4th of July!!!

2009-07-05T20:44:00.000-07:00

What a weekend... full of baseball, 4th of July at the park, swimming (which I didn't get pics of), BBQ, and fireworks. We had a blast and enjoyed spending time with family. With JT getting older it is getting more fun because he is understanding what is going on. Thursday night we went to a roadrunners game with some family. We didn't last 9 innings, but it was fun to see how JT would react. Friday we just hung out at home and I went to Krumpets with my mom for the 75% off 4th of July decorations. We got a ton for only $35.00!!! I think it is my new favorite store. Thank you Shaunie for introducing us!!! :) Saturday we celebrated the 4th with my parents. Races at the park... JT came in second to an almost 3 year old... so I pretty much think he won. :) He played some games and we waited in line for an hour so he could ride a pony. We were all talking while we waited that he better get on the pony to make our wait worth it. Well we were wrong. He didn't want to get off. He loves animals and loved the pony. It was so cute! It was a fun filled day and we all got to bed late! Today was a normal Sunday... JT and I had a 3 hour nap which was very very nice and than spent awhile at Papa & Nana's riding the motorcycle. It is going to be hard to go back to work tomorrow. Especially when I know it is going to be CRAZY!!!! Oh well... maybe it will go fast. Also... I am going private next Sunday. I have all of you down that requested to be added, but some of you didn't leave an email. If you can go and check if your email is on there or you can email me at budge13@juno.com :) Summer... I need an add to your blog ;) Now it is time for another fun week.

Take me out to the ballgame!

I think he had fun :)

On your mark... get set... GO!

He was watching the Red Robin bird!

Fishing for ducks

Digging through sawdust

His favorite thing at the park

So freakin cute!!

Patiently waiting for the sparkler!

He wasn't quite sure about it at first!

We are going to try our names and taking the pic on the 24th... stay tuned for awesome pics!

Notice the redness of our skin? We got a bit of sun!

Enjoying it a little bit more

Relaxing on Sunday. We are having a problem with this blanket. :( Never leaves his side.

This kid has me wrapped around his finger... and his daddy would agree! :)

Now that you have all been patient... 2 posts in one night!!!

2009-06-15T20:11:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pictures of what we have done in the past few months... Keep reading though because our baby turned 2 today and we had a successful birthday party tonight. I am exhausted!!! We have been busy as a family and are looking forward to the rest of the summer. We are having a Packard reunion next week and all of Jon's siblings will be coming from Washington. We haven't seen some of them in a year. We are excited to spend time with them. I am sure I will get tons of pictures.

Looking older with all his hair gone!

Nice face daddy :)

Uncle Dizzles got himself married. How cute are these boys?

We aren't sure what they were looking at.

Fixing the drawers.

Even bribing him with candy doesn't get him off daddy's motorcycle.

Bubbles don't taste very good.

After all the hard work... the front is done. Now it's time for the backyard!

Daddy taught JT how to eat yogurt with a cookie. That is a necessity you know.

Birthday Boy!!!

2009-06-15T20:00:00.000-07:00

Holy Smokes... JT is 2! How crazy is that. It doesn't seem like it has been two years. As I was working today I thought back to the day he was born him. The moment I saw him in the nursery 2 years ago I knew that he belonged in our family and he was going to make us so happy. He has made my life complete. We are so blessed to be his parents. He is such a joy to be around. He has such a sparkling smile and awesome personality. He is going to go so far in his life. He is an amazing son and will be a wonderful big brother. I am so thankful that he chose us as his parents. I can't imagine my life without him. We had a "motorcycle" (his favorite thing in the whole world) birthday party with my family tonight. He got spoiled and had a blast. We had to save the big present from us for last because once he saw it he would have not opened the rest of his presents. It was a success and we move into the terrific 2's ;) Now for the pictures... sorry there are so many I just couldn't pick a few.

Look who's 2!!!

This is the "cheese" face

Mmmmmm ... frosting

Cake is good!

Sportin the helmet!

He didn't want to sit still and open presents... it was a fight.

The grand finale... just like daddy's!!!

Whoa.. goes a little fast downhill... he even crashed once. :)

Good thing mom made him put the helmet on before he crashed.

Who's the man?

He looks so grown up. What am I going to do when he turns 3?

Not a fan of silly string.

He just wouldn't smile!

Our family... time to add another one! :)

It's time...

2009-06-12T08:40:00.000-07:00

I know I promised a post and I will get to it... my inlaws are coming down today for the weekend, but I plan on blogging on Sunday. :) Anyway, we are doing some things in our lives that are going to change things and I decided that I am not comfortable having the whole world knowing... so it is time we go private. I am not going to switch for 3 weeks due to vacations and other stuff... so you have plenty of time to get your request in. :) Leave a comment or email me at budge13@juno.com Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. I know we will.

Ok Ok Ok!!!

2009-06-08T00:28:00.000-07:00

So I have been a bit lazy lately or maybe just busy with life, but I promise we are still alive and one of these days I will post. :)

Updates coming soon...

2009-05-19T10:21:00.000-07:00

We are still alive... just very very busy. Ramsey & Shaunie's wedding was amazing. They are so happy and we are excited to share our backyard with them. :) I will try to post what we have been up to tonight. Life is just crazy and my blog isn't getting much love. Oh well... that's life :)

A few days of our lives.

2009-04-21T21:58:00.000-07:00

Jon surprised me on Friday by finally bringing my piano from my grandma's garage. We inherited it from his mom when they moved to Utah. It is old and a crazy green color, but I am in love with it. It needs some work done. Hopefully within the next few weeks I can get someone to come and look at it. Those of you whoe are piano experts (April) let me know if you prefer anyone. :) I have also said from the first day we saw JT he was going to be a concert pianist. He has long fingers which daddy thinks will be great for basketball or football. I insisted he will also take piano. He loves to sit and play. Look how both hands are playing and he already has great form and technique. It has been a wonderful babysitter. ;) He sat for about an hour on Friday and was entertained the whole time. Not one of JT's strong points (sitting still)

Friday we also got gravel for our driveway and various places in our yard. Thanks to those of you who helped with that. We got it put up against the house and added some flagstone from my parents in front of our side door. It looks nice. We are now waiting to get some equipment to smooth the rest out. I am not really a fan of shovel and wheelbarrow methods. :) It looks so nice. it is crazy what a little bit of gravel will do for ya. I will post a pic when it is all done.

So more JT fun tonight... Have I said I love having a 2 year old? :) Jon and I were in the living room talking and JT was in the kitchen. We both weren't paying attention and all of the sudden I hear what sounds like trash bags. I look over to a roll of trashbags all over the floor. Jon told me to watch because it was going to be funny. He says, " JT, what are you doing? Do I need to come in there?" As Jon is talking JT runs and grabs the roll of bags and runs back into the pantry. Jon again says, "JT what are you doing?" JT walked out of the pantry and grabbed the rest of the bags and put them in the pantry. He then precedes to walk out into the living room like nothing is wrong. Jon had him show him what he was playing with. JT took Jon's finger and dragged him into the kitchen. This is what we found... at least he put the roll back where he got it from. :) Never a dull life.

He was so proud of himself. Notice the lid to the garbage can too. The pantry seems to be JT's favorite spot to cause trouble. It is filled with blenders, toasters, mugs, and anything that shouldn't be touched. He also loves to shut us in or shut himself in and knock. What a character! :) We are so in love with him.

EaStEr Overload!!!

2009-04-18T23:54:00.000-07:00

So I am finally posting about Easter weekend. We had such a wonderful time. My sister Megan surprised us the Sunday before and came home with my parents. We spent all week letting the boys play. We even got a little shopping in and I didn't spend any money. ;) We got up Saturday morning to go to the annual Hurricane Easter Egg hunt. Last year JT wasn't walking yet so we put him in the grass and he munched on the candy. There was so much candy that parents were picking it up after the kids were done. This year it was cold and rainy and when we got there we noticed hardly any candy. Actually they had plastic eggs scattered and a few ziploc bags filled with candy or stuffed animals. Seriously as soon as the fire engine's horn blared we ran out, picked up 2 (yep 2) eggs and it was over. It probably took 3 seconds. The sad thing was... some kids didn't get anything. I will probably never attend again. We ended up having 3 more hunts. JT woke up on Sunday to find what the Easter bunny brought. The "easter bunny" went a little overboard, but JT didn't mind. He got a bubble mower (which he absolutely loves) and yard tools. We have spent a lot of time working in the yard and he now digs and pushes the mower everywhere. There were only 5 eggs hidden and JT found 3 eggs before he saw the lawn mower and than the eggs didn't matter anymore. :) Sunday afternoon we went to my parents where JT was spoiled once again. They did a little hunt in the backyard and he wanted to eat everything as he picked it up. Everyone ended up helping get it all in the basket. We had such a fun time.

Our little GQ ;)

I love this age. He is 22 months now. Seriously where does time go? 2 more months and he will be 2? Ahhhhhhhh!!!!! We have already hit the "terribles" :) He gets into everything. He has so much energy that by the end of the night Jon and I are exhausted. I wish I just had a smidget of what he has. He has the best personality and loves to get all the attention. I would not give back any of the 7 years we waited for him. It amazes me how much love I feel for him. Jon and I were talking today that we could have 17 hours or chaos with him and just one smile or one I love you will make it all go away.

Anyway... I have more I want to post about how crazy this weekend was, but it will have to wait because I really need to finish my YW lesson and it is way too late. I couldn't pick just a few pictures so here is a collaboration of our Easter weekend. Enjoy!!!!!!

Easter

Sneak peak of Easter weekend. :)

2009-04-12T19:27:00.000-07:00

Blog Worthy

2009-03-29T21:46:00.000-07:00

I am back! (kind of) Nothing huge has happened in our lives. Things have started to slow down a little and I can breath. I have been working in the yard a lot trying to get a handle on the weeds that love to grow in the spring :) We bought JT some boxer briefs just because. He isn't ready to potty train yet, but I wanted to see how he would react. Here is the video. You be the judge... we think he loves them.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

We are enjoying being parents of an "almost" 2 year old. He definitely got the memo of how a 2 year old should act. ;) hehehe We wouldn't trade him for anything though. He keeps us on our toes and amazes us everyday with how smart he is. Here are a few pictures from breakfast. Adventures in eating... when he eats!!! :)

Frustrations...

2009-03-06T19:34:00.001-08:00

I think I have had that title before, but it fits how I am feeling right now. Do you ever feel like you are in a perfect spot in life. It couldn't go any better and than WHAM!!! "real life" hits you. :) That is where I am... stuck under real life. When I find myself I will be back, but I am taking a break!

Welcome to the world Matik Kellan...

2009-03-01T23:13:00.001-08:00

My little brother Kellan and his girlfriend Bridgette had their baby today!!!!

8lbs 2oz - 20" tall

He is absolutely adorable! We saw him for about 5 minutes before we got kicked out. I can't wait to go and visit again tomorrow. We are in love with him already and love Kellan & Bridgette. We are so excited for their little family.

Now it is time for us to try for a little girl. ;) I am re-motivated to get this adoption paperwork completed.

Cute new family!!

Proud daddy and my brother. :)

He looks like his daddy... at least I think so.

3 generations

Proud Nana & Papa- 4 grandsons in 2 years... CRAZY!!!!!

Look who's getting married!!!!!

2009-02-15T20:36:00.000-08:00

Stef... I stole this picture from you. :)

My little brother proposed on Friday! We were all at Shaunie's house after she went on a scavenger hunt. When she came downstairs to go to her room Rams was on one knee and all of us spectators where in the corner watching. JT took the ring to Uncle Rams right before he asked. It was so cute. He did a great job. We are so excited for them. May 16th is the big day!!! We can't wait. We love both of you and are so excited to add Shaunie to our family.

Sick Days... :(

2009-02-12T15:40:00.000-08:00

We have had a few crazy days. We went up North this weekend to visit Jon's family and had fun even though we were only there for 24 hours. We found some cute tools at Walmart and got them for JT. They are his most favorite things right now. As soon as we gave them to him he disappeared. This is where we found him. Smart little bugger...

We drove home on Sunday afternoon through the storm and made it home safely. JT played with the screw and screwdriver the whole way home. It made for a somewhat quiet ride.

Monday night he started getting a fever and I knew we had a long night ahead of us. We didn't get much sleep and Tuesday morning he was pretty out of it. Days like this are bittersweet. He never stays still anymore. He barely will cuddle and we are lucky to get kisses and hugs, but than it is down to run again. When he has a fever all he wants to do is be held which I love. He fell asleep in my arms on Monday night and other than going to the doctor to find out he had an ear infection and a nap with dad... I spent the day in the rocking chair with my sick baby. I don't like when he is sick, but I love the time we get to spend together. After a couple of days on antibiotics he is almost back to his old self. Hopefully this is the only ear infection we have this year!

Jon's day...

2009-01-29T16:34:00.000-08:00

So today was a hard day for Jon. On top of dealing with things going on in the business, JT decided to make it even harder. Starting with taking off his pajamas and diaper during his nap. (Luckily nothing happened.) He thought it was hillarious... Jon didn't. I swear this kid is way too smart. I guess we will be safety pinning his pj's or something. He sat him down for lunch and offered 4 different things that JT wouldn't eat. So he finally got him to eat stroganoff and than got a phone call. He was in the other room for a few seconds and when he came back the stroganoff was thrown all across the floor. :) Can you imagine? lol So when I called him he was about to break. (kind of glad he now understands what it is like) I guess he made JT pick up every piece of noodle and put it back in the bowl and that is when I got home to relieve him. He is now out filling machines and I am sure he welcomes the break.

I took JT out this afternoon to watch a backhoe across the street from us. He was fascinated. That is where the picture at the top came from. Look at how wide his eyes are. I got some cute pictures... which is hard when he never stays still.

For me.... I decided that I might be a little depressed and got on some medication. The past week has been amazing. I have so much energy and motivation to actually do things. The wonders of drugs huh? So we are doing great... surviving in this crazy economy and looking forward to getting our paperwork done with the church. We are both very baby hungry. :) Now off to do something constructive.

Just JT...

2009-01-24T23:23:00.000-08:00

JT has been hillarious lately. He gets into everything!!! He is smart and pretty much nothing gets by him. :) I think we have hit terrible twos 5 months early. It is almost a nightmare to go anywhere with him because he hates sitting still. We still love him to death though. Here are a few things he has been doing lately.

Sharing Niko's bed... they get along sometimes. :)

Daddy let him play with the laptop. He has since then thought twice about it.
Helping with leaves. We have had some beautiful weather.
The reward... playing in the leaves. :)

Helping daddy put the lawnmower together... well pulling it out of the box. Jon was hoping for a bigger project. He just had to straighten out the handle. lol
This kid is all about tools.

I saw this "baby smash" program on a friends blog. I thought we would try it out this morning.

Notice the concentration? He can pound on the keyboard and it doesn't hurt the computer.

It is a BIG hit!!!!

He sat still for about 15 minutes.

The newest place to hide. He is such a ham.

Thoughts...Choices...Decisions!

2009-01-17T18:52:00.000-08:00

2 years ago we had just moved to Utah and felt like we were starting all over again. I was frustrated with the whole baby situation and felt like nothing would ever happen. Pretty much because of the money aspect. I started working with Crofts and my boss told me about an agency in Mesquite that he had adopted his daughter through. Jon and I talked about it and decided that we could possibly pursue it. I got all the paperwork and information and that is where it all stopped. Since it was a private adoption it was going to be a lot more money than going through the church. The only problem was I didn't feel like we were supposed to go through the church. February 6th came and I was up in Orem with my parents while my sister gave birth to her first son Trey. After she had him I went out into the lobby to rest a little since we were pretty much up all night. My parents came out to rest also. It was that moment that I will remember forever... my dad told me that they were going to help us financially with the adoption. All I could do was cry. I KNEW we were supposed to go through this agency and this was the answer. As soon as I got home we started the paperwork and got ready for the wait. We had a few nibbles on our profile and didn't feel right about those birthmothers. The end of May came and the phone rang... they had a birthmother that they had told us about in the very beginning. (There was nothing we could do about it in the beginning since our paperwork wasn't ready and they felt like she had wanted an african american family.) She didn't want to pick a family and let them pick. They asked me if we were interested... I was at home alone and told her I would call back once I talked to Jon... but I knew that this was my baby. Jon got home and we went for a walk and talked about it. He also felt the same way so I called back and told them to go ahead and show her our profile. It was then that she told us they were picking and they had picked us!!!!!!!! The birthmother didn't want anything to do with the family so it was going to be pretty smooth. Show up at the hospital and pick him up when we could. We still had to finish our homestudy so the next day the caseworker came to finish it up. She also told us that the birthmother had decided that she wanted to meet us the NEXT day! Holy cow... I was a mess. :) We went to Vegas on Saturday and met with her and fell in love. I just remember staring at her face. She was beautiful and she was carrying MY son. We gave her a willow tree figurine of an angel holding a heart and a photo album of our family. She told us her story and I was actually at peace with the whole thing. I still couldn't believe that this wonderful angel was going to give up her son to me. All the way home I just kept thinking that it couldn't come soon enough... but it did. We got a call the next monday that she would be having a C-section on Friday and we needed to be there. So we took off on Thursday with my parents. JT was born and it was one of the best days of my life. We got to come home a week later and time has flown since then. Off and on Jon and I talk about what we are going to do for the next baby. He wants to do in-vitro and I just don't know. It is crazy to me that here it is 2 years later and I feel like I am in the same spot as I was back than. So the thoughts are the same... the feelings are the same... the choices are the same... and our decision is somewhat the same. I have felt a sense of urgency to get our paperwork into the church. After much prayer we feel it it time. I am excited and nervous. This time I won't be able to work after and it scares me to quit, but I know that the Lord makes everything possible. We have been so blessed the past 2 years with JT being the biggest blessing. We are also very lucky to be close to both parents and lots of family. So let a new adventure begin. I will keep you all updated on things as they happen. It could be years or it could be months. I have put it all in the Lord's hands... he knows where our baby is and when the time is.... I am doing my part and than he will do his.

Trying to get into the groove!

2009-01-12T22:27:00.000-08:00

Ok... so I have to admit that it is January 12 and I still have my Christmas out. I just can't get into the mood to take it down. Jon's parents came down the weekend after New Years and that is usually when I do it. Than I went back to work so when I get home I just don't feel like doing it. Is that bad? I have all these good intentions and just can't get the motivation to do them. Seriously... what is my problem. If someone invented a motivation pill I would totally invest! :) Anyway... we are all still alive. JT has been fighting a bronchial infection and Jon has a bad head cold... and me well I just have that little disease called "Lack of motivation" hehehe I WILL get Christmas down before the end of Jan even if it kills me. :) Anyway... I can't post any cute pictures of my adorable son because my lovely husband has taken over my computer. Oh well... We are still here and until something exciting happens... I am out!

I lied! Merry Christmas!!!

2008-12-26T22:45:00.000-08:00

So I know I said I wouldn't post until 2009, but I just had to post about Christmas. We are so incredibly blessed to be close to family. Christmas Eve we have our annual party with my mom's side of the family and unfortunately JT wasn't feeling well... so Jon took one for the team ;) and stayed home. We always have a talent show and it has been a few years since our family did something. This year I was able to do a "glow stick" (stick people) dance for YW in Excellence and our ward Christmas party with the YW presidency so I figured that would be fun for our family to do. I think everyone loved it and we had a blast performing. I got home just in time for JT to open his PJ's and go to bed. Christmas morning we woke up and luckily JT was feeling better. At least we didn't have to change a million diapers that day. We headed for Papa and Nana's house and opened presents with everyone. Once JT saw his bike from Santa he wasn't really interested in opening anymore presents. We forced him to open a few. We were definitely spoiled this year. Jon got me a Wii which was a total surprise and my parents bought us a lawnmower so we can finally mow our own lawn. :) We are enjoying spending time with family and can't wait for the new year to see what it will bring. (Hopefully a new little addition to our family!) I am now officially done until the New Year. We hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are enjoying the spirit that it brings.

This made my Christmas! He was so excited!

What a cute couple! ;) hehe
Notice they are checking each others presents out?
Even though it is the same thing!

Practicing form already! Uncle Dizzles gave JT the BYU football.
So I look a little stoned or something, but JT's face is stinkin cute. :)

Update Overload!

2008-12-14T12:44:00.000-08:00

I can't believe how busy my last few weeks have been. Between taking care of JT and the house (which needs a lot more TLC), keeping up with our business, work, Christmas presents, YW activities and lessons, Christmas parties for our wards and work. I seriously feel like I haven't been able to stop. I am helping with our YW Christmas lesson next Sunday and that will take a lot of time this week along with our activity on Tuesday... so this seems to be the only time I have to "chill" for a second in between all the craziness. We have had fun, but I can't wait for next Sunday to be done and I can relax at least a few days before Christmas.

Now for the overload of pictures and videos!!! :)

Our Tree grew 3 feet this year. We went from a hand-me-down from Grandma to my parents tree. They decided to purchase a "pre-lit" tree. I don't mind putting the lights on I am just glad it reaches our ceilings! I love it. I also got brand new decorations this year. :)

JT wasn't quite sure about the man in red!
He didn't cry just wanted to get off his lap. I love the disgusted look on his face.
This is pretty much the face he makes whenever we try to get him to eat!

A short clip of the Santa experience.

The classic JT face. I am afraid he is going to be the "class clown"
We're already are seeing early signs. He is definitely a character!
We Love Him!!!!!

Nana tied his feet to the pedals and he was actually trying to pedal.

This is what happens when he feeds himself. He is getting better every time though.
Last but not least... We have been practicing "sounds"
Don't mind the food... it makes him even cuter! :)

Whew!!! We made it. I will not be back until after the New Year... so everyone have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!!!! It is now time to spend time with my family. My little sister came a week and a half earlier than planned from AZ and surprised my parents so we need to spend time together and let the boys play. See y'all in 2009!!!!!

Daddy's Shoes

2008-12-04T16:54:00.001-08:00

This kid has an infatuation with shoes. He pretty much picks the ones he wants to wear each day. The flip flops and crocs are some of his favorite. The other day he wanted to wear daddy's shoes... You always have to have a picture like this. :) He totally cheesed it after I took the picture.

HaPpY tHaNkSgIvInG!!!!!

2008-11-26T18:45:00.001-08:00

(picture compliments of JT)

We hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend!!! Don't eat too much turkey!!! :)

Motivated!

2008-11-19T23:05:00.000-08:00

So I normally spend Tuesday and Wednesday nights after everything is done glued to my couch to watch Biggest Loser and America's Next Top Model. As crazy as it sounds I usually have my pop and some sort of snack to go along with the show. :) Every week I tell myself that I need to start exercising and losing some weight that has crept on me. My biggest downfall is Mt. Dew! It is my best friend. I can go a day or so without it, but why? So I know that Jon and my family has heard it a million times that I am going to quit LOL and I do for awhile, but than go right back. :) Tonight as I sat and watched all the stupid drama on Biggest Loser I finally felt motivated. I only had one more pop in the fridge and decided to hurry and drink it and be done. (We will see how I do.. not promising anything) So that show was finished (thanks to DVR) and I started to watch Top Model. I am not sure how I feel about the winner, but I guess the judges know best... anyway... After Top Model I got out my Hip Hop Abs at 11 PM and did the first cardio video. It is so crazy how good and accomplished I feel. Jon kind of looked at me strange, but at least I got up off the couch and did something right? Now onto the next hard thing. Getting rid of the junk in our house and at work. I will keep this updated on how I am doing. Maybe I will even put a ticker on the side. We will see how I feel. Anyone care to join me? I also cut my hair, but I just need to take a pic and post it (sorry it has taken so long Goon) :)

Other not so exciting news. JT may have a fracture in his upper leg. I would go into details, but it is past midnight and I am actually tired for once. We are going to the Dr. tomorrow to follow up after his xrays and I will post what they found. Please pray that everything will be ok! And just a picture so this post isn't so boring :)

Potty Time!

2008-11-17T19:37:00.000-08:00

(Don't mind the "I just woke up look")

Jon and I are crazy, but we decided that it was time to get JT used to the potty chair. So we picked one up at Walmart. Nothing fancy... no music when you pee or toilet paper hanging on the side. Just a normal chair that will be able to be used on the toilet and it turns into a cute step stool. Anyway, we brought it home and let JT sit on it to try it out. He wouldn't get off. He probably sat on it for a good 15 minutes. We tried feet in water and running the bath water, but nothing happened. So the next day after his nap I stuck him on it again. Again he wouldn't get off so i decided to sit at my computer and wait. About 5 minutes later he came to see me. We walked back into the bathroom to get a diaper and lo and behold he had peed in the potty!!!! I clapped and cheered and got all excited. Everytime he saw the potty the rest of the day he would clap. I need to get some candy to put in the bathroom for when he goes. :) Jon and I went to Mesquite over the weekend for our anniversary so we didn't get the chance to do anything, but tonight I put him on and started the bathtub. Within 2 minutes he had peed and was ready to get in the tub. I know most would say it is way early and he won't keep doing this and I know I am definitely not ready to put him in big boy pants, but hey... I am a proud mom right now :) And you can never get started too early right?

OuR LiTtLe MoNsTeR!!!

2008-11-07T22:26:00.000-08:00

I should be finishing my talk for Sunday and also my lesson for Young Womens, but here I am blogging instead :) This week has been so fun with JT. He has the cutest personality. He gets smarter every day and surprises us. Here are just a few cute pictures from this week. :) I better get back to preparing.

My cuddle bug!
We bought this motorcycle for JT because he wanted to play with one of Jon's model bikes and he also loves Jon's bullet bike. Unfortunately it makes noise! Enough said. LOL :)

Just cute!!!